I am in love!

I shied away from conversations about love.

I thought it was a cheesy word.

It sounded juvenile and even vulgar.

There was no word to describe people like me.

'Atheist' - one who didn't believe in God.

????? - one who didn't believe in love.

So human beings could conceive the idea of not believing in a God. But the thought never crossed their mind that there would be (or should be) people who did not believe in love?

But trust me, there are people like me. And we had our doubts about love.

To my logical mind, love seemed to be an excuse that is conveniently used -

• to keep human beings together (like a wonder glue)
• to carry forth human species (the biggest scam of all)
• to sell everything from washing machines to films to greeting cards and trashy key chains and red roses (the greedy corporate b******ds and florists)

It was all a conspiracy. Love is a dictator and wants everyone in its power! Love is that irritatingly charming salesman who refuses to leave until the sale is made!

But all this is only till you have had a brush with love.

And then, you will begin to write articles like this!

I am glad I experienced love. 

Not in the sense of a boy and a girl. No. But in a broader sense.

I see love when I see mothers who are surprisingly incapable of hating their children (however demonic they may be)

I see love when fathers go to dreary jobs every single day to provide for their families (except on sundays and public holidays of course)

I see love in promises (and confidences) kept by friends 

Now I see love in a well-designed consumer product. (Even if they use love as their marketing strategy)

I see love even between constantly fighting couples (some of them fight just to pass time, trust me)

I now see love when a person discovers himself and falls in love with his own magnificence.

The Vedas could not describe God in all his glory. So all they could say was "na iti" - not this. 

I think with love too, we can say - 

It is not just a feeling

It is neither the power nor the weakness

It is not just kindness or affection

It is neither attraction nor the absence of it

It is not limited to beauty

It is neither limited to relationships nor actions

It is not exhausted 

It is neither visible nor invisible

And it is definitely not a conspiracy. 

It rather is that silent, formless life force that exists in a body. You know it exists, because you exist. 

Wall in Love

No. It’s not a typo. I am a wall. And I am in love.

I am a wall in love.

I may be all stone and cement and bricks… and because I am a wall on the road, God knows what else. But I have feelings.

Yes, you, Mr. Tobacco Chewer! It deeply ‘hurts’ me when you paint me red and not in a good way.  Those yucky stains you leave on me that not only stink but make me wonder what the original colour of me was… But at least, with you I have the consolation that you are treating me better than you are treating your own mouth.

The real insensitive being is … yes, I am talking about you… you shameless urinator! It may come as a surprise to you that I hate it when someone relieves themselves on me the same way you feel when someone relieves themselves on you! Are you even listening to me? Stop it. Stop the flow. Go away… Shoo! Gosh! It’s like talking to a wall!

Ugh…. I am so angry and frustrated! See! I have feelings… though these are not the best ones. No. The best one is love. And I am in love.

It all started when I was just minding my own business and being a snack table to two birds. It was one of those moments that I loved being a wall. It brought me so close to… life. To the heart beat of a being. I’ve always wanted to know how ‘life’ felt like.

How does it feel when blood runs through every vein of your body? How does crying feel? What does it feel not to be stationary? (I fail to understand how people get stuck to TVs, computers and gadgets when they have the gift to MOVE!)

I would do anything to speak, contort my face into expressions, sing (even without the talent), read (not just the pamphlets stuck on me) and most importantly FEEL.

Life amazes me. That’s probably why I don’t mind the bird droppings. And that’s why I want the cat on the wall to be indecisive forever. Just so that I can feel its paws on me. I’d love me some human touch too (instead of being the ‘human refuse station’) but apparently, I am not that kind of a wall where children just climb upon and dangle their feet or lovers just lean against or murals are painted. 

To be fair, I get painted. But mostly they are political advertisements. And they use stencils! And there are no flowers or colours… just bland words. And by the look of the readers, not very pleasant words either. I see them frown, I see them laugh derisively, I see them ignore… not once have I seen them feel inspired. Is it me or the politics, I wonder!

I get postered too! Film posters, huge, colourful. I’d have liked them. But they cover me up completely and I doubt many look at me only because of them. I feel dwarfed and dominated. They make me feel like I don’t exist. I heard films do that to theatre, classical arts and literature too. I must speak with them sometime and compare notes.

But, where do I have the time? I have found this new love and my days and nights are spent in adoring her. The birds flew off that day leaving their crumbs behind, as usual.

I just remember drenching thoroughly in the rain (I love rain too, one more things that feels like ‘life’). It washed away my stench and stains. It crinkled the posters and they just fell limp! (Ha!)Some rogue had wanted to spray paint on me some unmentionable words. The rain deterred him too. But most of all, it gave me my love.

It wasn’t till rain faded away and several days passed till I discovered it. But when I did, I was overwhelmed.

Now, I am an old wall. So I have my share of wrinkles. Hey, I am proud of them and would never resort to the wall equivalents of Botox. Wrinkles feel like lines of life… that the Sun shone on you, that my dear rain soaked it. That the life threw so many surprises that the eye brows went high in exclamation and left those horizontal lines… see… those are the real exclamation marks! That there were so many moments of laughter that the mouth has its own parentheses! That its time for you to start thinking of saying good bye! Ah, death! That which is the ironic proof that there was a life! What wouldn't I give to die! Oh, I love me my wrinkles. And now, I love them even more.

Because in one of them, thanks to my birdie friends and the rain, a ‘life’ has started breathing.

I noticed its tender leaves only this morning. And for the first time in my lifeless life, I fell in love.

What do you call a new born leaf? What kind of plant was it? 

Vocabulary said “shut up and just keep admiring”. Botany agreed.

Only one leaf was whole in shape, though yet small in size. But there were a couple more like princes-in waiting.

You have to see those leaves and you will agree that green is the colour of love. Not any green. Just this delicate, moist, dewy, fresh and innocent green.

Hope was written all over the faces of those leaves. Somehow they invited better looks off passers-by than anything else on me.

Then the air came to meet them. It too felt fresh around them, I could see. It played with them and playfully pushed them towards me. And then I felt that brush of life against me. The leaves knew me. 

They knew they are growing inside me.

And then they looked at me. They seemed to ask if they are welcome here, if I would let them grow.

Why wouldn’t I? I will be their wall of support. I am their mother! This is their womb!

And when they grow up, they will attract more life! Think of all the cows and goats that come to feast when it is big enough to give! 

I know it will do me proud! It will give. Like, I gave.

But what is this I hear? What are they talking about my lovely green off springs? That they will go stronger by the day? That they will spread rapidly all over me covering me in green? That their roots will run all through me like arteries and veins? And then one day, they will outgrow me and I will collapse and die?

Is this true? 

If it is, then, thank you children!

Thou shalt be 'foodged'!!!!!

Judging in any form is wrong. I never judge even if I could. I could think "How miserable and jobless of you to not only click on my blog link but actually READ it!!!" But no. I don't judge. 

And I hate people who judge. And unfortunately, this society gives me too much to hate. The minute you set eyes on a person, BAM!! Your mind has shifted to JUDGE gear. 

Sowmya's original, life-changing list of things to do before turning 30!

Guess who is turning 30 in a couple of months? Okay, why do I find this scary all of a sudden? I am turning 30? I am turning 30! I am hyper-ventilating... Okay... my mom just smacked me and said not to jinx it lest I never turn 30. Point noted. Panic attack aborted.

To commemorate the occasion, I thought I'd come up with a list of things to do before I hit that third decade of my life and share it with those who are yet to get there. And for those of you who have already joined the 'three-oh' club... I hope you approve of the list!

Top most unpractical Summer Tips!

This is that time of the year when even men read 'How to' columns... it's summer! And here's a guide to surviving the season.

Me... on me :)

Once upon a time, I was given a test by a company. I was asked to write about myself in 20 minutes. At that time, it looked like a content - writing exercise. Now, it looks like a revelation :)

Would you still be my friend?

We knew when we met
The timing was perfect
We were each others' 'God-send';
Finished lines for each other
And knew it was a bother
To ask if you would be my friend

Foolish People's League

GBS: Hello! I am George Bernard Shaw. Cricket lovers know me as the &*@ ^#%$ who said "Cricket is a game played by 22 fools and watched by 22,000 fools". And these days, I hear the number is doubled!

Enter LM

LM: You have lived a cynic and have died one and continue to be so in 'spirit'.
GBS: Who are you?
LM: I am the father of IPL.

Women's Bill (A one act play by Sowmya Nittala) This blog became a play called 'Five Women and a Bill' enacted on Sep.18th 2011!

Five women, seated around a discussion table.

The house wife: I am telling you, I can spare you very little time for this discussion… my husband said he’d be early today and I have to cook him his favourite late noon snack… Oh… don’t tell me I forgot to get that low cholesterol oil… I have to take care of his health… right?

Woman politician: Free tho hum bhi nahin hain. I have to attend the party meeting at 3.00… and…

Nerd: But its already 3.00….

No offence to Srinivases! :)

నాకెందుకో 'శ్రీనివాస్' అనే పేరు నచ్చదు. 'ఎందుకో' అనేముందిలే... దానికి చాలా కారణాలున్నాయి. ఈ 'శ్రీనివాస్' నామధేయం పట్ల గల ద్వేషానికి అంకురార్పణ నా బాల్యం లోనే జరిగింది.

The Great Indian Irony

30 January, 1948 - The crusader of independence through non-violence, Gandhi the Mahatma was killed by a man of his own religion.

Perhaps this is the greatest irony that India has experienced till date. I wonder if the assassination completed Gandhiji's life and added him in line with great leaders and statesmen of all times. Perhaps an ordinary death would have made his death a little unnoticeable!

From Beyond the Blue

I feel looked upon by caring eyes
Touched on my head by a soothing hand
I feel I am not a nondescript
I have my place in His Holy land

పద్య 'నరకా'సురుడు

"నేను కవిని కాను" అంటూ ఓ ధోరణిలో మొదలెట్టాడు మా పద్య నరకాసురుడు. "అదే విషయం నీకు ఎలా చెప్పాలో తెలియక చచ్చా ఇన్నాళ్ళూ! నీకే తట్టింది, సంతోషం" అని అక్కణ్ణుంచీ లేచొచ్చేశా నేను.

నిజంగానే మావాడు కవి కాదు.

BIGG BOSS Vs PARLIAMENT

One is supposed to be a reality show while the other is supposedly a real show. Both air on National Television. Prima facie there is nothing common between them but if you look closely (as I did)... you will realize that not only are they similar but our longer running PARLIAMENT is a bigger and better show than BIGG BOSS!!

BIGG BOSS:
14 members - chosen by the show organizers

PARLIAMENT:
545 members - elected by the public with thumping majorities!!

BIGG BOSS:
84 days of constant scrutiny under surveillance cameras

PARLIAMENT:

Gee-Oh!

There is one thing I always wish for my friends and dear ones. That they should never ever have to go to a Government Office. I can't see my talented, intelligent, self-respecting and patriotic friends entering a black hole called the

జడ

ముహుర్తానికి టైం అయిపోతోంది... ఆటోలు వచ్చి చావట్లేదు... ఈ పెళ్ళి హాళ్ళన్నీ ఊరవతల ఎందుకుంటాయో... అసలు ఊరవతల హాళ్ళల్లో పెళ్ళెందుకు పెట్టుకుంటారో... ఎక్కువ మంది రాకూదనేమో....కక్కుర్తి మేళాలు... అయ్యో ... మేళాలంటే గుర్తొచ్చింది... గట్టి మేళం వాయించే సమయానికి నేనక్కడ ఉండి తీరాలి...

a motivational poem

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The day is today and the moment is now
The fields of your fate, you have to plough
Grab your luck or lose it forever
Choices are two – now or never.

Oh God! What have I done????

"Man's drive for the fountain of knowledge began by asking" (what? directions?). What the heck, I tell you man is plain curious... and needy. So, asking is born out of need just as mother is born out of invention (or something like that).
When we were children, we plainly demanded. But as we grew up,