This is that time of the year when even men read 'How to' columns... it's summer! And here's a guide to surviving the season.
PREVENTION IS BETTER...
1. One must consume a lot of alcohol in winter. It will keep you warm in winters and you'll probably die even before summer arrives so you don't have to deal with it. But since you are alive and kicking and reading this blog and also because I should have published this tip three months ago and summer is now here, let's skip from prevention to cure.
P.S. Teetotalers can substitute alcohol with cigarettes (next winter, that is)
TOP 5 SUMMER SURVIVAL TIPS:
1. Fall in love - Try to schedule your love goals around the beginning of summer. In love, the world seems a better place and mundane subjects such as scorching sun, dry mouth and sun stroke do not matter. But don't you dare express your love as yet. Wait for the rainy. No, not because it is romantic but the rejection might leave you more miserable. It' better, cheaper yet more effective than prickly heat powder. And if you can't find a boy/girl, you can always pretend you are in love and cheat the heat!
2. Fall out of love - No, I am not contradicting myself. The wise never do. If your love affair has passed the rosy stage and entered the thorny period where there is nothing left but nagging (that you aren't spending enough time/money yada yada) then summer is the perfect time to fall out of love. The relief is unbelievable. It's similar to repaying a 20 year old house loan or finishing your homework or scratching that impossible spot on the back where it always itches. The point is... you got it already.
3. If you are married, unfortunately... - Tips # 1 & 2 are wasted on you. But wait, I may have something. Studies* reveal that angry women are actually contributing to global warming. So ensure that women around you are happy at least for the next 3 months or till the first showers show up (which ever is the earliest). Quarter of an year shouldn't be that big a deal, eh?
*The studies are yet in the animal-testing stage.
4. Ignorance is bliss - Try to stay away from news papers, news channels and any other news feeds. Also avoid movies and books that make you think. Politics, poverty, corruption, inefficiency, nepotism, pin up girls etc can make your blood boil. So stay clear of news media, literature and everything in between. Go the 'who-is-Anna-Hazare?' mode for a cool summer. (Oh wait... most of us Indians do this already... well, except for the err... pin-up girls)
5. Be an angel - A Zen mind is the coolest ever. Work place jealousy, unhealthy comparisons and career frustrations can give you a heart burn. So try to be happy for the success of others, not harbour ill-feelings against anyone and try to work harder to reach your goals than just sitting and cribbing. Nah... scratch Tip #5. Here's the real #5.
The Real #5. Chuck the list and go to a hill station. (for those who do not have the money, watch out for my next blog 'A pauper-hitchhiker's guide to a hill station'.)
Happy Summer Everybody! :)
Needless to say... DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME!
PREVENTION IS BETTER...
1. One must consume a lot of alcohol in winter. It will keep you warm in winters and you'll probably die even before summer arrives so you don't have to deal with it. But since you are alive and kicking and reading this blog and also because I should have published this tip three months ago and summer is now here, let's skip from prevention to cure.
P.S. Teetotalers can substitute alcohol with cigarettes (next winter, that is)
TOP 5 SUMMER SURVIVAL TIPS:
1. Fall in love - Try to schedule your love goals around the beginning of summer. In love, the world seems a better place and mundane subjects such as scorching sun, dry mouth and sun stroke do not matter. But don't you dare express your love as yet. Wait for the rainy. No, not because it is romantic but the rejection might leave you more miserable. It' better, cheaper yet more effective than prickly heat powder. And if you can't find a boy/girl, you can always pretend you are in love and cheat the heat!
2. Fall out of love - No, I am not contradicting myself. The wise never do. If your love affair has passed the rosy stage and entered the thorny period where there is nothing left but nagging (that you aren't spending enough time/money yada yada) then summer is the perfect time to fall out of love. The relief is unbelievable. It's similar to repaying a 20 year old house loan or finishing your homework or scratching that impossible spot on the back where it always itches. The point is... you got it already.
3. If you are married, unfortunately... - Tips # 1 & 2 are wasted on you. But wait, I may have something. Studies* reveal that angry women are actually contributing to global warming. So ensure that women around you are happy at least for the next 3 months or till the first showers show up (which ever is the earliest). Quarter of an year shouldn't be that big a deal, eh?
*The studies are yet in the animal-testing stage.
4. Ignorance is bliss - Try to stay away from news papers, news channels and any other news feeds. Also avoid movies and books that make you think. Politics, poverty, corruption, inefficiency, nepotism, pin up girls etc can make your blood boil. So stay clear of news media, literature and everything in between. Go the 'who-is-Anna-Hazare?' mode for a cool summer. (Oh wait... most of us Indians do this already... well, except for the err... pin-up girls)
5. Be an angel - A Zen mind is the coolest ever. Work place jealousy, unhealthy comparisons and career frustrations can give you a heart burn. So try to be happy for the success of others, not harbour ill-feelings against anyone and try to work harder to reach your goals than just sitting and cribbing. Nah... scratch Tip #5. Here's the real #5.
The Real #5. Chuck the list and go to a hill station. (for those who do not have the money, watch out for my next blog 'A pauper-hitchhiker's guide to a hill station'.)
Happy Summer Everybody! :)
Needless to say... DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME!
1 comment:
Sowmya ....giving us tips on love and married life....do I see some light at the end of the tunnel...great blog..will note all those tips ....i will need hem surely THIS SUMMER
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