Five women, seated around a discussion table.
The house wife: I am telling you, I can spare you very little time for this discussion… my husband said he’d be early today and I have to cook him his favourite late noon snack… Oh… don’t tell me I forgot to get that low cholesterol oil… I have to take care of his health… right?
Woman politician: Free tho hum bhi nahin hain. I have to attend the party meeting at 3.00… and…
Nerd: But its already 3.00….
Woman politician: I know… (looks pointedly at the nerd) so we better start…
Nerd: ahem.. ahem.. I think you all know why we are here..
Blonde: (twirling her hair curl) No…. why?
Nerd: Oh…. These blondes….
Feminist: I object severely to that usage… it’s a vulgar jargon used by men… those idiots… whoever gave them the power to categorize women…
Blonde: Ok.. I didn’t understand what she said… but fyi my hair colour is burgundy and blonde hair doesn’t suit Indian skin tones…
Nerd: Anyway… we are here to discuss the pertinent issue of the Women’s Bill
Blonde: Women don’t have bills… it’s the ducks that have them you lame duck… we have noses… and mouths…
Feminist: I thought that issue has been settled by us feminists long ago… today’s woman is financially independent to pay her own bills… if it’s a woman’s bill… then it’s paid by a woman too…
The house wife: No.. no… I think she is talking about (chuckling) the infamous U S President… My husband told me all about him and the other woman… But Hillary has to be appreciated for her forgiveness…
Nerd: No.. no…. I don’t mean any of those… its not a bill that ducks have, its not a bill that a woman pays or its not Mr. Bill Clinton…. And for further clarifications… I also don’t mean a bill of exchange, a bill that is a weapon… or Bill Gates…
(Woman politician understands Nerd’s frustration)
Woman politician: She means the Women’s Reservation Bill… that gives us a 33.3% reservation in Parliament and State Legislatures…
In chorus: Oh…
Nerd: (looking gratefully at the politician) Thank you… I…
Woman politician: So you’ll vote for me?
Nerd: (gives a ‘can’t believe it’ look, shakes her head, and looks at the group) I just wanted to ask each one of you… what you think about it…
Woman politician: I have no objections to it… this 33.3% reservation gives me a 100% guarantee of my party choosing me as their candidate (smiles) oh… actually… it helps get better representation for the fight against gender inequality… (under her breath) Good that I remember that NGO speech…
Blonde: Plus it gives more employment opportunities to women… imagine so many people working at the parliament…
(All of them look at her)
Nerd: Politics isn’t employment…
Blonde: Oh god! (turning to the politician) Then what do you do for a living?
Nerd: Oh… don’t you worry she has her means… but what I am asking is… when you go to vote… does the gender of the candidate matter?
The house wife: May be yes… I personally feel a woman is more patient and caring and understanding…
Feminist: There you go my darling… its proven that a woman invokes confidence in the public… women from recognized political parties had a 32.53 per cent success rate at the Lok Sabha as against a mere 26.5 percent success rate of the male candidates. This has been so for every general election since 1984… (in a low voice) well… except in 1989… which hardly matters…
Blonde: With that success rate… won’t women get elected anyway… why do we even need a reservation…
(All of them look at her.)
Nerd: I never thought I’ll say this… but our friend here has a point… we might well exceed that figure too… then this reservation will only be a restriction…
The house wife: High hopes….
Politician: Oh… what do you know…. You are just a house wife…
The house wife: Excuse me… even your Rabri Devi was a house wife like me…
Nerd: Point…
The house wife: See?
Nerd: No… not as you mean it… but it raises an important point… what if the reservation is used in a wrong way? What if the parties decide to bring in the wives of their successful candidates… then we will have 33.3% puppets in the parliament…
Blonde: (clapping her hands) oh… gee… the ladies can have their own kitty party in the parliament when everyone leaves… Imagine Mrs. Manmohan Singh hosting a party and inviting Mrs. Vajpayee and …
Feminist: err… Mr. Vajpayee is a bachelor…
Blonde: Of arts?
Nerd: Oh forget it… seriously… would we want proxies?
Woman politician: No… the question is don’t we want women?
(Everyone look at her dubiously)
Woman politician: Let me rephrase that… my question is … don’t we want women leaders?
Nerd: My question is… do we have women leaders?
Blonde: Ok smart people… I may not know many things… but there is no usage as “women leaders” or “men leaders”… I was the cheer leader in college and no one called me cheer women leader…
Feminist: You are right kid… no categorization for leaders either… you are either a leader or you are not…
Everyone nod in agreement except house wife.
House wife: I wonder if I should take the low cholesterol oil or switch to micro wave cooking… I have to take care of my husband’s health, right?
The house wife: I am telling you, I can spare you very little time for this discussion… my husband said he’d be early today and I have to cook him his favourite late noon snack… Oh… don’t tell me I forgot to get that low cholesterol oil… I have to take care of his health… right?
Woman politician: Free tho hum bhi nahin hain. I have to attend the party meeting at 3.00… and…
Nerd: But its already 3.00….
Woman politician: I know… (looks pointedly at the nerd) so we better start…
Nerd: ahem.. ahem.. I think you all know why we are here..
Blonde: (twirling her hair curl) No…. why?
Nerd: Oh…. These blondes….
Feminist: I object severely to that usage… it’s a vulgar jargon used by men… those idiots… whoever gave them the power to categorize women…
Blonde: Ok.. I didn’t understand what she said… but fyi my hair colour is burgundy and blonde hair doesn’t suit Indian skin tones…
Nerd: Anyway… we are here to discuss the pertinent issue of the Women’s Bill
Blonde: Women don’t have bills… it’s the ducks that have them you lame duck… we have noses… and mouths…
Feminist: I thought that issue has been settled by us feminists long ago… today’s woman is financially independent to pay her own bills… if it’s a woman’s bill… then it’s paid by a woman too…
The house wife: No.. no… I think she is talking about (chuckling) the infamous U S President… My husband told me all about him and the other woman… But Hillary has to be appreciated for her forgiveness…
Nerd: No.. no…. I don’t mean any of those… its not a bill that ducks have, its not a bill that a woman pays or its not Mr. Bill Clinton…. And for further clarifications… I also don’t mean a bill of exchange, a bill that is a weapon… or Bill Gates…
(Woman politician understands Nerd’s frustration)
Woman politician: She means the Women’s Reservation Bill… that gives us a 33.3% reservation in Parliament and State Legislatures…
In chorus: Oh…
Nerd: (looking gratefully at the politician) Thank you… I…
Woman politician: So you’ll vote for me?
Nerd: (gives a ‘can’t believe it’ look, shakes her head, and looks at the group) I just wanted to ask each one of you… what you think about it…
Woman politician: I have no objections to it… this 33.3% reservation gives me a 100% guarantee of my party choosing me as their candidate (smiles) oh… actually… it helps get better representation for the fight against gender inequality… (under her breath) Good that I remember that NGO speech…
Blonde: Plus it gives more employment opportunities to women… imagine so many people working at the parliament…
(All of them look at her)
Nerd: Politics isn’t employment…
Blonde: Oh god! (turning to the politician) Then what do you do for a living?
Nerd: Oh… don’t you worry she has her means… but what I am asking is… when you go to vote… does the gender of the candidate matter?
The house wife: May be yes… I personally feel a woman is more patient and caring and understanding…
Feminist: There you go my darling… its proven that a woman invokes confidence in the public… women from recognized political parties had a 32.53 per cent success rate at the Lok Sabha as against a mere 26.5 percent success rate of the male candidates. This has been so for every general election since 1984… (in a low voice) well… except in 1989… which hardly matters…
Blonde: With that success rate… won’t women get elected anyway… why do we even need a reservation…
(All of them look at her.)
Nerd: I never thought I’ll say this… but our friend here has a point… we might well exceed that figure too… then this reservation will only be a restriction…
The house wife: High hopes….
Politician: Oh… what do you know…. You are just a house wife…
The house wife: Excuse me… even your Rabri Devi was a house wife like me…
Nerd: Point…
The house wife: See?
Nerd: No… not as you mean it… but it raises an important point… what if the reservation is used in a wrong way? What if the parties decide to bring in the wives of their successful candidates… then we will have 33.3% puppets in the parliament…
Blonde: (clapping her hands) oh… gee… the ladies can have their own kitty party in the parliament when everyone leaves… Imagine Mrs. Manmohan Singh hosting a party and inviting Mrs. Vajpayee and …
Feminist: err… Mr. Vajpayee is a bachelor…
Blonde: Of arts?
Nerd: Oh forget it… seriously… would we want proxies?
Woman politician: No… the question is don’t we want women?
(Everyone look at her dubiously)
Woman politician: Let me rephrase that… my question is … don’t we want women leaders?
Nerd: My question is… do we have women leaders?
Blonde: Ok smart people… I may not know many things… but there is no usage as “women leaders” or “men leaders”… I was the cheer leader in college and no one called me cheer women leader…
Feminist: You are right kid… no categorization for leaders either… you are either a leader or you are not…
Everyone nod in agreement except house wife.
House wife: I wonder if I should take the low cholesterol oil or switch to micro wave cooking… I have to take care of my husband’s health, right?
1 comment:
"Feminist: err… Mr. Vajpayee is a bachelor…
Blonde: Of arts?"
Hilarious.. :D
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